Quantcast
Channel: Positively Positive
Viewing all 1156 articles
Browse latest View live

The Power of Architecture: How the World Around You Shapes Your Thoughts and Actions

0
0

In 1952, polio killed more children in America than any other communicable disease. Nearly 58,000 people were infected that year. The situation was on the verge of becoming an epidemic and the country desperately needed a vaccine.

In a small laboratory at the University of Pittsburgh, a young researcher named Jonas Salk was working tirelessly to find a cure. (Years later, author Dennis Denenberg would write, “Salk worked sixteen hours a day, seven days a week, for years.”)

Despite all his effort, Salk was stuck. His quest for a polio vaccine was meeting a dead end at every turn. Eventually, he decided that he needed a break. Salk left the laboratory and retreated to the quiet hills of central Italy where he stayed at a 13th-century Franciscan monastery known as the Basilica of San Francesco d’Assisi.

The basilica could not have been more different than the lab. The architecture was a beautiful combination of Romanesque and Gothic styles. White-washed brick covered the expansive exterior and dozens of semi-circular arches surrounded the plazas between buildings. Inside the church, the walls were covered with stunning fresco paintings from the 14th and 15th centuries and natural light poured in from tall windows.

It was in this space that Jonas Salk would have the breakthrough discovery that led to the polio vaccine. Years later, he would say…

“The spirituality of the architecture there was so inspiring that I was able to do intuitive thinking far beyond any I had done in the past. Under the influence of that historic place I intuitively designed the research that I felt would result in a vaccine for polio. I returned to my laboratory in Pittsburgh to validate my concepts and found that they were correct.”
-Jonas Salk

Today, the discovery that Salk made in that Italian monastery has impacted millions. Polio has been eradicated from nearly every nation in the world. In 2012, just 223 cases were reported globally.

Did inspiration just happen to strike Salk while he was at the monastery? Or was he right in assuming that the environment impacted his thinking?

And perhaps more importantly, what does science say about the connection between our environment and our thoughts and actions? And how can we use this information to live better lives?

The Link Between Brains and Buildings

Researchers have discovered a variety of ways that the buildings we live, work, and play in drive our behavior and our actions. The way we react and respond is often tied to the environment that we find ourselves in.

For example, it has long been known that schools with more natural light provide a better learning environment for students and test scores often go up as a result. (Natural light and natural air are known to stimulate productivity in the workplace as well.)

Additionally, buildings with natural elements built into them help reduce stress and calm us down (think of trees inside a mall or a garden in a lobby). Spaces with high ceilings and large rooms promote more expansive and creative thinking.

So what does this link between design and behavior mean for you and me?

Change Your Environment, Change Your Behavior

Researchers have shown that any habit you have — good or bad — is often associated with some type of trigger or cue. Recent studies (like this one) have shown that these cues often come from your environment.

This is important because most of us live in the same home, go to the same office, and eat in the same rooms day after day. And that means you are constantly surrounded by the same environmental triggers and cues.

If your behavior is often shaped by your environment and you keep working, playing, and living in the same environment, then it’s no wonder that it can be difficult to build new habits. (The research supports this. Studies show that it is easier to change your behavior and build new habits when you change your environment.)

If you’re struggling to think creatively, then going to a wide open space or moving to a room with more natural light and fresh air might help you solve the problem. (Like it seemingly did for Jonas Salk.)

Meanwhile, if you need to focus and complete a task, research shows that it’s more beneficial to work in a smaller, more confined room with a lower ceiling (without making yourself feel claustrophobic, of course).

And perhaps most important, simply moving to a new physical space — whether it’s a different room or halfway around the world — will change the cues that you encounter and thus your thoughts and behaviors.

Quite literally, a new environment leads to new ideas. @james_clear (Click to Tweet!)

Putting This Into Practice

In the future, I hope that architects and designers will use the connection between design and behavior to build hospitals where patients heal faster, schools where children learn better, and homes where people live happier.

That said, you can start making changes right now. You don’t have to be a victim of your environment. You can also be the architect of it. Here’s my simple two-step prescription for altering your environment so that you can stick with good habits and break bad habits:

  1. To stick with a good habit, reduce the number of steps required to perform the behavior.
  2. To break a bad habit, increase the number of steps required to perform the behavior.

Here are some examples…

  • Want to watch less TV? Unplug it and put it in a closet. If you really want to watch a show, then you can take it out and plug it back in.
  • Want to drink more water? Fill up a few water bottles and place them around the house so that a healthy drink is always close by.
  • Want to start a business? Join a co-working space where you’re surrounded by dozens of other business owners.

These are just a few examples, but the point is that shifting your behavior is much easier when you shift to the right environment. Stanford professor BJ Fogg refers to this approach as “designing for laziness.” In other words, change your environment so that your default or “lazy” decision is a better one.

By designing your environment to encourage the good behaviors and prevent the bad behaviors, you make it far more likely that you’ll stick to long-term change. Your actions today are often a response the environmental cues that surround you. If you want to change your behavior, then you have to change those cues. 


James Clear writes at JamesClear.com, where he shares ideas for using behavior science to help you master your habits, do better work, and improve your health. For useful ideas on improving your mental and physical performance, join his free newsletter.

For more ideas on how to set schedules and stick to habits for the long-term, read my free 45-page guide: Transform Your Habits.

This article was originally published on JamesClear.com

Image courtesy of Konrad Glogowski.


I’ll Stop Nagging You If You See The Doctor

0
0

My husband is a jerk.

Not really, he’s loving and caring and really flexible with me but there’s one thing that just kills me about him – he think’s he’s super man. Unless he’s about to lose a limb, he will not go to the doctor.

He got into a minor accident driving a moped. It was nothing really big, but it did require a hospital visit. Since it was a “vehicle accident,” that was like a legit reason for him to warrant the hospital visit. He got bandaged up and sent home, no big deal.

A few weeks later, we were having a bunch of people over for a cocktail party and he’s upstairs in bed with bumps and blisters all over his legs. I told him to go to the doctor, but he refused. I tried putting oregano oil on it but it did nothing. We tried everything we could think of. The bumps kept coming back AND he still refused to go to the doctor, for weeks. FINALLY, he couldn’t take the nagging anymore and agreed to go to the doctor. What did he have??? MRSA!!! Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus – An antibiotic resistant bacteria that he picked up while being treated the first time in the hospital.

Diet, exercise, and the right combination of holistic practices can prevent just about any health issue. But sometimes illnesses are too big for essential oils, holistic remedies, exercise  and diet, and seeking professional medical attention is really the smartest thing to do.

My goal as a holistic health coach is to keep you well.

But when illness turns to suffering (especially with kids!) don’t play superman. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

Here are symptoms you need to look out for to tell you it is time to go to the doctor:

  • Sustained Fever – A fever is part your body’s natural way of fighting infection. But, a temperature of 100.5 or greater that does not go away after three days can be an indication of an infection. I keep peppermint leaves in the freezer for when Madeline has a fever. The cold leaves are soothing and the natural oils in the leaves will help bring a fever down. Remember, what you put ON your skin goes IN your body! When peppermint oil and aspirin or your go-to holistic remedy isn’t bringing the fever down anymore, it is time to seek medical attention.

  • Difficulty Breathing – A stuffy nose or chest congestion are different than not being able to breathe. A stuffy nose is easy to deal with – eucalyptus, in any form, will do the trick. If you find yourself short of breath or struggling to take a full breath and if breathing causes pain in your chest, seek medical treatment immediately. And I do mean immediately.

  • Vomiting – Vomiting can quickly lead to severe dehydration if it persists. I’ve had stomach issues for years, so I always have coriander oil on hand (even chewing on the parsley garnish at dinner can help!). Fennel seeds are also amazing, just chew on a few when your tummy is not right. For kids, go for ginger and peppermint tea, not too hot. The second I go past “queasy,” I know something is up. If you are unable to hold even water down, you need to get to a doctor to be rehydrated intravenously or it will lead to much more dire complications.

  • Pain Swallowing  – A sore throat is not uncommon when you’ve got a cold or flu and is very easy to treat at home. Hot water with honey and lemon is your first and best option. Gargling with sea salt can also do the trick. Some people go with apple cider vinegar and honey, but for me, that’s like drinking salad dressing and I just can’t do it! A throat tickle is manageable, but severe and sustained pain caused by infections like Strep may require antibiotics. AND if you are on a course of antibiotics, follow your doctor’s instructions to the LETTER. Antibiotic resistant infections, like my husbands MRSA case, are no joking matter.

  • Persistent Congestion and Headaches – Headaches are really common and the best natural remedy is just to slow down and close your eyes. You know those peppermint leaves I keep in the freezer? I’ll lay down with a few on my forehead and take a time-out. If you’re a coffee or tea drinker, a small jolt of caffeine can sometimes  do the trick for you. Persistent migraines or headaches might be pointing to something more serious, so don’t wait to investigate that.  Allergies and colds can lead to sinus infections, which are very difficult to kick naturopathically. I love my neti pot, and it’s great for keeping allergies and minor colds at bay. I‘m prone to sinus infections. At the first feeling of stuffiness, I attack that fast with lavender and lemon and I start feeding myself really really well. The second it turns from sniffles to a sinus infection, I’m done for, so I do everything I can to stop it in its tracks.

My goal for myself and my clients is wellness and I’m not here to disrupt your medication or medical attention. It is a known fact that 90% of the viruses and illnesses that we are exposed to daily are preventable by eating the right food and natural medicine, and if we’re using both of those there’s a lot we can prevent. I know that there are many chronic illnesses and diseases that generally do better when under the care of a western medical professional. I am happy we live in a place where we have medical care at our disposal when we really need it. Holistic health practices can keep you from needing to go to the doctor, but if you’re not getting better, don’t tough it out, don’t be a jerk, get the medical attention you need.


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

Working Out When It’s Hot Out

0
0

Has anyone else noticed how friggin’ hot it is this summer? It got up to 103 in Boulder this summer and we still have a whole other month to go! I admire all of you dedicated people who are still out running and cycling outdoors, sweating your asses off, despite the heat and humidity. But are you remembering to take care of yourselves in the process? When I was a triathlete, I was so obsessed, I didn’t care what time of day it was. I used to be insane.

I ran a twenty-four hour, six-person team race once. It was an average twenty-four mile race, where each of us had six legs. It was August and it was 100 degrees. I went all out in the first leg and got so dehydrated that by the time I got to legs three and four, I was puking and the race became a miserable experience. I lost seven pounds in one race and got so sick I needed IVs.

It is really easy to wind up with heat exhaustion or worse, heat stroke, if you work out in the hottest part of a hot summer day. So, what are some things you can do to avoid injuring yourself in the heat? Here are some suggestions:

Go Prepared

Bring plenty of water with you, or plan your route so it includes stops at places to get more. I wear a belt that holds a bottle water on my waist, and I carry one in my hand. I wear thin, light-colored clothing that wicks sweat away from my skin. I also wear a baseball cap that covers my eyes and the top of my head from the direct sun, but still allows the heat I generate to escape. And of course, I put sunscreen on my face, ears, neck, and any part of my body that’s exposed.

Know The Symptoms

When your body gets overheated, it gives off signals that it’s time to slow down or stop altogether and cool off. But it’s hard to notice the signals when you’re in the zone. Here’s what you need to look out for when you’re out there: throbbing headache, feeling lightheaded or dizzy, you stop sweating, your muscles get weak or cramp up, nausea, rapid heartbeat, shallow breath, confusion, disorientation or staggering. Don’t try to tough out these symptoms. They can lead to seizures, loss of consciousness or coma.

If you start feeling these symptoms, stop exercising immediately and cool your body down. Drink cold water, get ice packs under your arms, on your head and on your skin, the key is to cool down your core temperature. If you experience multiple symptoms, call 911 and get medical attention.

Pick a Cooler Time of Day

Every trainer, sports coach and fitness instructor, including me, is going to tell you that the best time of day to work out is when it’s cooler and they are 100% right. It’s not just about hydration. Your body is at maximum efficiency for how it uses water, nutrients, and calories, how it burns fat stores and your muscles and heart rate recover faster. But, the cooler part of the day doesn’t work for everyone. Some aren’t early risers, some work late, some just like to blow off some steam during their lunch break. But it really is better for you to workout when it is cooler outside.

Go to the Gym Instead

I hate the gym. I do! I’m a terrible fitness coach for saying it, but I would way rather be outside, running in the fresh air, sunshine or even rain, than be cooped up in a smelly gym. I get it. But, if the middle of the day is really the best time for you, or the only time you have even when it’s blazing hot out, do yourself a favor and go to the gym instead. With a climate controlled track or stationary cycle room, you can get in your mid-day workout without trying to fight off heat exhaustion.

These days, I’d probably blow off a twenty-four hour, twenty-four mile race if I knew it was going to be 100 degrees. At the very least, I would jog it instead of going all out. Taking care of myself is way more important. I listen to my body. I don’t set my alarm to workout in the morning. If I don’t wake up early enough to do it, I’m too tired to train. Period.

Listen, you’re committed to your workout. I totally get it. When I was a triathlete, there was nothing that came between me and my workout. But heat and sun exposure can lead to injury, and then you won’t be able to exercise at all. I want you to reach you goals. I am certainly not going to discourage you from getting exercise, no matter what time of day it is. Just be smart about it.

Self-care is the key. I want you healthy! Not hurt! @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

I’ve just given you four really important tips to working out during the hot summer months. Got any tips for staying cool during your workout? Share them with me here.


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

How Do You Start Your Day?

0
0

The first hour of your day sets the tone for how the rest of the day is going to go. Disagree?

Remember that morning about a month ago, when you woke up late, in full freak-out mode because your alarm didn’t go off? In the first few seconds of your eyes being open, you realized that your entire day was going to be totally screwed. You were going to miss that traffic window when it’s not a complete disaster and that 9am meeting. You spent the next thirty minutes racing around like a chicken with its head chopped off getting yourself and the kids dressed, book bags packed, lunch money handed out (cause there was no time to make them, you were lucky they got breakfast). Your heart raced, half the things you needed to get done weren’t, you missed things at work, wound up with whatever you could forage at the office for breakfast, which  was a heck of a lot less healthy than your usual smoothie. The entire rest of the day felt out of sync. You were exhausted before the day had even begun.

Still disagree that what happens in the morning sets the tone of your day?

For me, if I’m not settled and my day starts off on the wrong foot, there is no hope of recovering. The whole day is going to be a mess. Now, I know there are things I can’t control, like traffic, the weather or other people missing appointments, but it’s critical that I do everything I can to make sure that I get my day started in a way that will set me up for success.

A few weeks ago, I asked you on Facebook how you start your day. I got back some great answers that I thought I would share, including how I start my own.

My day does not begin without essential oils and taking care of my skin. This is a necessity for me; if I don’t manage my well being, things go downhill fast. I never leave my bedroom without my morning skin care care routine of cleansing, toning, and moisturizing. I’ve also dealt with IBS symptoms for years, so I don’t step foot out of my bedroom without using my protocol for my digestive system including a little frankincense under my tongue, among other things. I can’t even think about facing the day until those two things are taken care of.

Once my face and my digestive system are taken care of, I will go downstairs, let the dog out and do a quick sweep of the house to straighten it up. It’s really important to have a clean, neat environment so that I’m not distracted by it or lose time looking for things in it. I tend to go to bed before the rest of the family, and I have to say, it’s amazing how much damage they can do after I go to bed! A morning sweep ensures everything is where it needs to be so I can get done what I have to. It goes a long way to help reduce stress in my day. Then, I check email and get some work done on the computer before anybody else is up.

When the initial scan of email is done, I make a superfood mix smoothie with peppermint oil, raw cacao, maca powder, banana, almond butter, pour myself a huge bottle of water that I’ll carry around with me for the day and then I am out the door for a workout. Having the right balance of nutrition starting with the first thing you put in your mouth for the day is so important to being able to maintain your energy throughout the day and will support your body when the stress starts to hit. I cannot stress this enough – Good nutrition takes some planning and you want to make sure your day starts off right. Start your day with sugar cereal and you’re going to have a mess on your hands.

So, what are some of YOUR suggestions?

There were lots of votes for green smoothies, lemon water – both warm and cold and  lots of fresh fruit and veggies, some with a little protein added. Great suggestions.

There are several coffee drinkers among you, which isn’t bad as long as you keep it to one cup with as little milk or sugar as possible (I would prefer to see you kick the cream-and-sugar habit altogether but I know enough not to mess with people’s coffee!), and make sure to drink plenty of water after to rehydrate what the caffeine steals.

Another GREAT suggestion was oil pulling. Swilling around a teaspoon of coconut oil (or any other oil if you don’t like coconut) for about twenty minutes daily is an ancient Ayurvedic method that is said to pull toxins out of your body. It is also said to help with cavities and plaque. It whitens your teeth and they feel great when you’re done brushing in the morning – even one of the ladies from my marketing team said it curbs her appetite!

Taking a probiotic first thing in the morning is another good one. You want to take a probiotic on an empty stomach and wait about forty-five minutes before eating so try to make it the very first thing you do. By the time you’ve had your shower, gotten dressed and the kids going, forty-five minutes has flown by, and the probiotic has had a chance to do its thing, balance out your gut. Our modern lives wreak havoc on our digestive system and a good probiotic is a great preventative measure.

Finally, what a perfect way to create a calm mind and get your heart rate and metabolism up for the entire day, than with some yoga.

Setting yourself up to win the well-being game really does start the moment you wake up.
@hayleyhobson
(Click to Tweet!)

If you get into a routine that will support the rest of your day, you’ll have more energy, be calmer and have the strength to make it to at least Happy Hour!

TIP:

Take baby steps. If you know you have to revamp your morning routine, pick ONE thing to change at a time! For example, start off by keeping a water bottle by your bed so that water and your probiotic are the first thing you grab. Once you’ve got that down and it’s automatic, add something else, like a sun salutation or two.

I’ve just shared some great ways to start your day – what’s your routine? Share here, on Facebook or Twitter!

XO Hayley


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

Luxury or Necessity?

0
0

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve posted blogs that talked about reinventing yourself and taking on your world like you have nothing to fear and then make a plan to get there. I know that reinventing yourself and stepping outside your comfort zone can be scary for some.

So today, I wanted to talk about a really good reason to go for it, a carrot to dangle in front of yourself to motivate you: improving your list of necessities and luxuries.

There are obvious necessities that everybody has: water, air, food. But beyond those very basic needs, everybody has things that they can’t live without, that they need to make it through each day. They also have a luxury list that they splurge on when they need a boost, to celebrate an accomplishment, or to just celebrate life. When you’re in a job you hate, that is not paying you what you deserve, the needs and luxuries are about survival. A roof over your head, three meals a day, a reliable car. But… don’t you want more than that?

When I left the law firm to become a yoga instructor, I was living a pretty comfortable lifestyle. I was making serious money and didn’t think much about the nice clothes I bought, the fancy restaurants I ate at, or the extravagant vacations I went on. You might think I was scared about whether I was ever going to live that lifestyle again when I left it, wondering how the heck I thought I was going to live that way as a yoga instructor.

I didn’t think about it. It wasn’t a question. I set the intention that I could, and would, continue to live comfortably, and then I busted my ass to make it happen because there are things that I am simply unwilling to live without, and they became my inspiration.

Organic food is still a luxury for a lot of people. It is more expensive than non-organic, often comes in smaller quantities, and when you’ve got a family to feed, the groceries can really add up. But for a raw vegan like me, most of my daily nutrition comes from vegetables. Subjecting my body to all the herbicides and pesticides used with conventional produce is just not an option. And honestly, organic veggies just taste so much better. If being completely organic isn’t an option, pick a couple of things that you eat or drink a lot of and make those your organic luxuries.

My skincare regimen would probably be considered a huge luxury to most. It’s not cheap. In fact, it’s pretty expensive, but I have gotten to a point that I just don’t feel right for the rest of the day if I don’t start it out with the essential oils I use to wash, tone and moisturize my face. It is the only way I will start my day. It wasn’t always that way. The idea was once a luxury. But, I reached a point when I decided that it was going to become a regular part of my life. So, I figured out how to pay for it and now it is so necessary for me, I will rearrange my budget to keep it if I have to.

If having a full line of essential oil skin care products isn’t in your budget, pick the part of your skin or hair that’s most important to you and buy a luxury product that you use once in a while when you feel like treating yourself. Then, grow that occasional treat into an everyday experience.  My marketing manager posted on Facebook the other day that she took a glorious shower that night with the “good soap” and felt wonderful.

Now, think about this for a second – what if that glorious shower and that wonderful feeling became an every day experience?

Some people feel that way about sending their children to private school. Some will only wear natural fiber clothing. Others won’t start their day without a certain brand of coffee. These are all luxuries that became necessities.

Luxury is important too. And sometimes, upping your game with luxury can light a fire under you to go beyond your comfort zone. For me, a luxury would be an extravagant vacation. And when I decide that I want one, I plan for it, save up, put my energy into it because not only do I believe that I deserve to splurge on myself from time to time, it becomes a goal to work toward. It keeps me motivated.

Luxury is also a mindset. When you feel luxurious, you want more luxury around you. You want to create it for yourself. This is not about feeling envious about what others have and what you don’t. If you keep focusing on what you lack, that’s all you’re ever going to see.

Life is short. I’ve said it 100 times. You have to enjoy the little time you’re here. I know for some people, my necessities seem extravagant, like they are things they could never have. But you can!! I’m no different than you. Decide what it is you want. A house? A nicer car? A vacation on an exotic island? A closet full of Prada shoes? Or just a really good job that makes you jump out of bed every morning? Do whatever you have to do to achieve that next level of happiness.

Live like you have nothing to fear, reinvent yourself if you have to. @hayleyhobson
(Click to Tweet!)

It’s out there, make it yours!

What are your necessities and luxuries? What luxury would you like to make a necessity and how are you going to make that happen?


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

Staying Motivated as Seasons Change

0
0

My alarm went off this morning, and it was cold and dark out. This is nothing new in Boulder in the mornings, even if it gets up to 70 midday, but the sun is coming up later and later, and all I wanted to do was hide under my blankets. It was everything I could do to get out of bed. The thought of winter coming was just too depressing. Laying there, thoughts peeped into my head about how to stay motivated with my exercise routine and just in general stay positive and in a good mood. There are actually a lot of things to look forward to over the next few months, as it gets colder, and colder… and colder.

Here are a few ideas to keep you motivated and feeling good, no matter how cold it is outside:

FALL

Watching trees change from green to all shades of yellow, orange and red is so beautiful! The air isn’t hot and sticky anymore. Instead, it’s brisk and refreshing. That makes Fall the PERFECT TIME for outdoor exercise. The temps are just right for biking, running, or hiking. Even some crazy people love this weather for kayaking and canoeing (it’s a little too chilly to me for THAT but whatever floats YOUR boat – ha!). Even getting out to a farmer’s market or pumpkin patch with the kids can be exercise and entertainment all rolled into one. If you’re looking for more grown-up entertainment, go to a winery and take a tour of the vineyard before you settle down with a bottle of chardonnay and a cheese board, take a tour of the winery or just stroll through the vines. Do anything and everything you can to soak up the sunshine and the fresh air before winter sets in.

Fall is also a great time to test out those root veggie recipes you read about during the summer. Farmers’ markets are coming to the end of their seasons, with fresh produce plants fading with each chilly night, but you still have time to supplement your meals with green veggies if the recipes don’t turn out as you intended.

WINTER

The cool air of Fall gets me excited for the first snowfall of the season, which can come as early as September here in Boulder.

Cold and snow is no excuse for hiding inside. There is so much to do outside!
@hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

I moved to Boulder from LA. I didn’t waste a minute thinking about how much I might hate winter (I’d be dumb to hate winter and move to Colorado!). Instead, I learned how to snowboard and I loved it. I drove up to Breckenridge every weekend to go snowboarding! It was so much fun and it got me through the first several winters. Another fun thing I discovered about winter in Colorado is how many people have heated pools and will swim all year round! It is SOOOO pretty to swim around in a warm pool with snowflakes falling all around you. And there are a ton of cold weather outdoor activities.There’s ice skating, snowshoeing, cross country skiing, or just going for a long walk in the snow can be pretty challenging! You can build snowmen with your kids.

I’m not much of a tea drinker during the summer, but when it gets cold, that’s when I love to dive into my tea collection, or find new concoctions to try. It’s like I have a whole different palette when it gets cold out.

If you’re a fashionista, you have a whole different wardrobe to dive into. For me, digging out my winter clothes is almost like going shopping – I get to wear all the stuff I’ve had packed away all spring and summer. And these days the styles are SO CUTE! There’s every cut of jeans imaginable, warm, fuzzy sweaters that aren’t all big and bulky, and there are so many styles of boots.

“IT’S TOO COLD!!”

Maybe you know that you are not cut out for cold weather. Don’t sit around and complain about it – plan a winter vacation to go somewhere warm so you have something to look forward to, to get you through the cold months.

And don’t make ‘it’s cold out’ an excuse for not exercising – there is plenty you can do in the comfort and warmth of your home to keep active and you don’t even need equipment to do most of it.

You know you don’t need to leave the house to do yoga. How about doing some stretches? Play hide and go seek with your kids, crank up the sound system and dance!

If you really suffer from seasonal dysmorphic disorder, invest in some full-spectrum light bulbs for your house. They can be pricey, but they seem to really help people during the months when there’s less sunlight and isn’t a happy state of mind worth it? Your indoor plants will love it too!

Changing seasons is really rough for some. Take the time while it’s still nice out get out into the crystal clear sunshine and soak it up while you can.

I’ve just given you some tips for enjoying the weather, no matter how cold it is. How do you keep yourself active through the cold months?

XO Hayley


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

Do You Want to Meditate?

0
0

First ask yourself why you want to meditate? Is it to feel more balanced, to reach a higher level of consciousness or even just go astral traveling?

Meditation is that perfect state of being where we are here, but not here. We are in the body, but out of the body. It’s when we get the best of both worlds, experiencing everything and nothingness all at the same time.

There are so many journeys to take on the causal and astral level that are beyond the limits of this body and mind. Once we start to practice and make a spiritual lifestyle a part of our morning routine and live by these principals, life suddenly goes from 3D into 4-5 and 6D. It brings on euphoric energy and more enthusiasm than we ever thought possible.

As we live our day-to-day lives, we can only live through our body and mind’s limitations and what our capabilities are. Sure we can push our boundaries and try to do bigger things but it still has a limit. When we meditate and do all the other spiritual practices that go with it, we gradually move beyond any boundaries and limitations and have an endless inner universe to explore and get lost in. This universe, like the outer one, is endless and without beginning. The only difference between the two is that we can’t travel far into the outer one while the inner is an endless journey with endless experiences.

This is what it is like when we leave the gross level behind and move more into the lighter and higher realm. Things are more ethereal and consciousness is purer. Our focus becomes more spiritual as we are less interested in the material.

So maybe start to look into a practice that is waiting for you, which will be your companion and guide you into unknown places where your soul has been waiting to take you.

Enjoy the ride. It’s a beautiful one. @yogicameron (Click to Tweet!)

Love,
Yogi Cameron


Yogi Cameron left the world of high fashion as a supermodel to pursue an ongoing study of Ayurveda and Yoga. He has been featured on The Dr. Oz Show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Today Show, Extra, E! Entertainment, and Martha, amongst others. The Guru in You, his first book, was published by HarperCollins in 2011 and his follow-up book The One Plan was published in 2013. Yogi has brought Yoga and meditation in Afghanistan as part of the reintegration program to prepare the country for troop withdrawal and has worked with young girls rescued from sex trafficking practices in Cambodia in coordination with the Somaly Mam Foundation. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook and his website.

Would you like to learn how to meditate without the common frustrations using the 6000 year old proven techniques that I use? Check out my NEW meditation CD. Click here: http://bit.ly/MeditateWithMe

The Family that Sticks Together Gets Sick (and Better!) Together

0
0

I hate to slow down. I’m a busy person. I have a lot to do. Especially this time of year. Don’t you guys feel like you’re in a rat race trying to close the year and still have time to wind down around the holidays?

I hate being sick. When I get sick and am forced to slow down its really hard to catch up. I feel like a hamster on a wheel that won’t stop. For someone like me, putting a halt on life can feel disastrous, as if feeling bad and probably being stinky (Don’t kid yourself, laying around in sweaty sheets, and not feeling like you want to shower adds up!) weren’t bad enough.

But when one person in my family gets sick, sooner or later, we all do. This just happened:

Wes got sick while we were in Mexico over Thanksgiving. Not Montezuma’s revenge sick. Straight up flu sick. He came home and had to lay in bed for three days before he started feeling human again. Around the same time, Makenna was diagnosed with strep. Her mother took her to the doctor, who put her on antibiotics. While Makenna was recovering from strep, Madeline developed a cough.

A week later, I went to a cardio class and was feeling dizzy and weak fifteen minutes into it. After twenty-five minutes, I had to leave and then spent the rest of the day at home, laying low. In the middle of the night, I broke into a sweat in my sleep and woke up to drenched sheets, feeling like crap. That same day, Makenna woke up with a fever again and was feeling like crud. Madeline was still coughing.

OMG! What a mess!

Even though I knew in my heart the essential oil protocol I was using on my kids was going to help (remember we don’t get better overnight), my husband wouldn’t stop nagging me. So I caved. I decided to load everyone up and take them all to the doctor! (and secretly, I couldn’t wait for my husband to hear from an expert what I was doing was right on track).

Madeline probably had an ear infection that she didn’t complain about because the doctor found bacteria in her ear. She said the cough may linger three to four weeks. I’d been applying oils but that night and next morning I went heavy on the eucalyptus, melaleuca, lavender, and a blend of wild orange, clove, eucalyptus, cinnamon, and rosemary oils and a day later it was all gone. Mamma knows best.  :-)

Makenna was in the process of coming down with another virus. For her, I went with oregano oil and the same blend of wild orange, clove, eucalyptus, cinnamon and rosemary that I used on Madeline. Twenty-four hours later she was back in school. Another victory!

Wes had a virus with a cough that the doctor said would probably take a month to get over. He also got the wild orange blend, melaleuca and oregano oil and finally admitted to me I was right and he’d exercise patience in the future and listen to his wife. LOL.

I had strep. I had no idea! I gargled with the same blend the girls and Wes got, plus oregano and lemon every three hours and then swallowed it. I made gel gaps out of the wild orange blend, oregano, melaleuca and lemon and took them every three hours. I rubbed eucalyptus, sandalwood, melaleuca, lemon and lavender oils all over the outside of my throat every few hours, took wild orange blend throat drops all day. I rested (I know, Me?! Yes, even I rest when I’m feeling bad), didn’t exercise, got lots of sleep, drank lots of fresh pressed juice and hot tea and ate fresh, raw vegetables. In forty-eight hours, the strep was gone.

No antibiotics needed.

Why am I telling you this? I really believe we have the power to heal ourselves.

We can learn to be healers at home. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

Natural plant remedies, along with a lot of rest, eating right and a little bit of patience stopped my family from giving each other the gift of illness over and over again.

And yes – gratitude for Western Medicine. We are fortunate to have it as a back up. And it’s always nice to have that peace of mind by letting a doc diagnose you.

But trust your intuition. Go with your gut. We really do have that power to take control of our health.

P.S. The best way to be well is to not get sick in the first place. Get plenty of rest, drink water, take vitamins, eat a balanced diet low in sugar and fat, give your immune system a fighting chance. But you’re not always going to be able to avoid it. Viruses and bacteria are always floating around. Especially this time of year. But we can definitely prevent it from getting worse than it needs to be which to me means getting me on my feet again and moving at the speed I like to.  :-)

So, what’s your trick for keeping your family from getting and staying sick all winter long?


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

* DOWNLOAD HAYLEY’S FREE “HAPPY, HEALTHY HOLIDAY GUIDE” HERE.


Is Toxicity Keeping You from Losing Weight?

0
0

You know you can’t get through January without being inundated by the New Year’s resolutions push to lose weight or get healthy. It’s all over the internet, on TV, and I’m sure at least half of your friends are on the bandwagon with their new diets and gym memberships. That’s great – whatever it takes to get them and you – into the gym!

But, I think that there might be something else causing people to be overweight that can’t be fixed in a gym or on a diet, and I think it’s time to start putting some focus on it.

I think being overweight may be a symptom of toxicity.

I think that some weight could be your body’s defense mechanism against all the toxic elements in your life.

I’m not just talking about the toxins and chemicals found in fruits and vegetables that weren’t grown organically, or chlorine in your tap water, or even the chemical-based detergents and cleaners in your home. I’m talking about the toxicity that is created in the rest of your life: your job, your relationships, even the information you consume in a day.

If you are in a job you hate, or you work for a company you don’t believe in, or you don’t get paid enough for what you do – all of that leaves you in a toxic situation.

Yelling at your kids, being frustrated with your significant other, losing your temper at drivers on the road, or the barista that got your order wrong, or didn’t ring you up quickly enough, if it always seems like you’re at odds with the people around you or they’re always letting you down… sound familiar? Guess what? You are creating toxicity.

If the bills are piling up and you’re not planning for your future and retirement, but you keep spending money, you’re living in toxicity.

If you spend hours a day watching your Facebook feed or catching up on world news, with all the terrible things that seem to be happening lately, you are feasting on toxicity.

Being healthy is about more than eliminating processed foods and changing your soap and moisturizer. Your body is constantly dealing with the stress of all this toxicity. How can you expect it to respond well to fitness and good food if it’s constantly fighting a battle for balance within?

To be holistically healthy, to create the WHOLE YOU, you have to address ALL of the toxic areas of your life. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

Stress is the leading cause of inflammation in the body and if you are constantly living in it, it can create a domino effect. Your body is in toxic overload, inflamed, and swollen because you’re stressed out, which stresses you out even more. Before you know it, you’re screaming at the kids which wears you out, lowers your willpower and resolve to be healthy, and the next thing you know, you’re curled up on the couch, watching Housewives of Orange County, with a glass of wine and chocolate to ‘reward yourself’ for all the stress in your life. It becomes a big, awful, endless circle of bad habits reinforced by stress that, whether you believe it or not, is in your control to change.

I’m not saying it’s easy to change! Finding a new job that you love is tough stuff! Catching yourself before you blow up at the kids when you’re REALLY ANGRY feels impossible. But why struggle and suffer with the toxicity of a job you have no passion for? Are you going to look back when you’re old and gray, and be glad you stuck with it, with no stories to tell, and nothing from it but a mediocre 401k? Or are you going to realize that life is short and you have to make the most of it every single day and do something to change the toxicity in your life?

I’m asking hard questions, I know. But if you want to really be holistically healthy, you really have to look at your whole life, not just what’s in your refrigerator.

XO Hayley


Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

I have a webinar coming up on January 15, about the true nature of weight loss. I want to get past the magic bullets and the fads and get to the heart of really being healthy, clearing the toxicity out of your life.

Image courtesy of Jodi Green.

10 Crucial Questions Your Doctor Should Ask You (But Probably Doesn’t)

0
0

We all know what it’s like to fill out detailed forms about our medical history at the doctor’s office. But is your doctor asking you the questions he or she really needs in order to get a good read on your health? At the Whole Health Medicine Institute, the training program my team runs for doctors, nurses, acupuncturists, energy healers and other health care providers, we teach healers how to ask patients the right questions.

But in case your doctor isn’t asking you the questions that might illuminate potential root causes of your illness, try asking yourself these questions.

1. What is your body saying no to?

What is really true for us—wholly, deeply, undeniably true at a soul level—often appears as flashes of intuition. We encounter it in dark nights of the soul. We see it reflected back to us through the mirrors of other people. We feel it in our bones. But we often deny what is true for us. If we ignore the truth when it visits us from the subtle realms, it tends to out-picture via the body. The body speaks to us in whispers, but if we fail to pay attention to the whispers, the body starts to yell.

Discomfort in the body may start as tightness in the solar plexus, or it shows up as back pain or headaches. If we still ignore the messages our bodies are sending us about what is true for us, the body breaks down in more life-threatening ways. If your doctor asked you “What is your body saying ‘No’ to?” would you be brave enough to tell yourself the truth?

2. What does your body need in order to heal?

As doctors, we go to medical school, ostensibly so we know your body better than you do. While it may be true that we know your anatomy better than you, your intuition knows what is in your body’s best interest better than any doctor possibly could.

When you’re asked, “What does your body need in order to heal?” you may be surprised at what comes up. You might answer “I need to eat a raw foods diet” or “I need to do yoga every night” or “I have to make sure I get eight hours of sleep.” Or you might be surprised to find yourself saying things like “I need to quit my job” or “I need to break up with my boyfriend” or “I need to set boundaries with my mother.” There are no guarantees that you’ll be cured if you actually do what you think might support your healing. But you never know. There might be a miracle right around the corner if you’re willing to trust yourself.

3. What’s out of balance in your life?

In my book Mind Over Medicine, I share a wellness model that I call “The Whole Health Cairn,” which acknowledges that “whole health” depends not just on what you eat, how much you sleep, and how much exercise you get, but on the health of your relationships, your work and sense of life purpose, your creativity, your spirituality, your sexuality, your finances, your environment, and your mental health.

Many of us devote all of our bandwidth to one or two aspects of our lives, at the expense of the others. We throw ourselves into our work but neglect our creative side. Or we deplete ourselves by caretaking those we love at the cost of our sense of life purpose.

A wholly healthy life requires feeding all of what nourishes us. @Lissarankin
(Click to Tweet!)

This isn’t just some New Age concept. It’s scientifically proven, with all the data to support these claims published in Mind Over Medicine (in case you’re a science nerd like me!)

4. Do you feel like you’re in touch with your life’s purpose?

People who are living in alignment with their life purpose tend to be healthier than those who feel out of touch with their mission or calling. In fact, some even experience “spontaneous” remissions from seemingly “incurable” illnesses when they finally do whatever it takes to live out their calling.

Yet too many of us choose comfort and certainty as our primary values, even if it means violating how the soul yearns to contribute in this world.

5. Are you lonely?

Lonely people are three times more likely to die young than people who feel like they belong to part of a tribe, and those who feel supported by their community have half the risk of heart disease compared to those who feel socially isolated. In fact, researchers posit that loneliness may be a greater risk factor for your health than an unhealthy diet, not exercising, or smoking. But when was the last time your doctor screened you for loneliness?

6. Do you feel sexually satisfied?

Scientific data proves that sex increases your longevity, lowers your risk of heart disease and stroke, reduces your risk of breast cancer, bolsters your immune system, helps you sleep, relieves chronic pain, and reduces the risk of depression, and lowers stress levels. You may not think your sex life and your health are related, but studies suggest that they are. In fact, a study of Ikarian men (who are known to live to be well over a hundred), found that among men aged 65–100, 80% of them claimed to have sex regularly, and a quarter of that self-reported group said they were doing so with “good duration” and “achievement.” Go dudes.

7. Do you feel depressed, anxious, or frequently afraid?

Happy people live seven–ten years longer than depressed people, and as is well documented scientifically in my book The Fear Cure, fear and anxiety have been shown to predispose you to heart disease, cancer, and even the common cold.

8. Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Your attitude affects your health. Happy people live, and optimists are seventy-seven percent less likely to die from heart disease than pessimists.

9. Do you often feel helpless?

As has been demonstrated in many scientific studies, when we feel empowered to change the things that get us down, we boost our body’s ability to fight disease, whereas when we feel helpless, at the mercy of life, our immune systems weaken, and we are prone to illness. In fact, the phenomena psychologist Martin Seligman calls “learned helplessness” has been shown to reduce a rat’s ability to fight off cancer. Empowered rats injected with cancer died of cancer thirty percent of the time, while the helpless rats died seventy-three percent of the time.

10. Do you believe in a Higher Power?

Your spiritual life has been scientifically shown to protect your health. In fact, people who attend religious services live up to fourtee years longer than those who don’t. You don’t have to go to the church, synagogue, or mosque to experience the health benefits of a rich spiritual life.

People who are “spiritual but not religious” also experience health benefits, most likely because trust in a Higher Power reduces stress responses in the nervous system, thereby activating the body’s natural self-repair mechanisms and helping the body heal itself.

Do you wish your health care provider asked you questions like these?

If you’re interested in finding a health care provider who has been trained to ask these questions, you can find a list of certified practitioners here.

This is how we heal our broken health care system—one doctor-patient relationship at a time. When we remember what it means to attend to someone’s whole health, we make the body ripe for miracles.

Love,

Lissa


Lissa Rankin, M.D., New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine and The Fear Cure, is a physician, author, speaker, and founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute, a training program for physicians and other health care providers. She is on a mission to merge science and spirituality in a way that not only facilitates the health of the individual; it also heals the collective. Lissa also co-teaches teleclass programs about spirituality, such as Medicine For The Soul with Rachel Naomi Remen, MD and Coming Home To Your Spirit with Martha Beck, PhD. Read her blog and learn more at LissaRankin.com.

If you’re a health care provider interested in enrolling in the 2015 Class of the Whole Health Medicine Institute, we’re accepting new students until the program begins with a live event in the San Francisco Bay area on June 5. You can register here. Along with me, guest teachers include mind body medicine pioneers like Rachel Naomi Remen, Larry Dossey, Bernie Siegel, Bruce Lipton, Kelly Turner, and more.

4 Most Important Things in Life!

0
0

1.Take Care Of Your Health:

Poor health will both reduce the time you have in this world and your ability to live the life you always wanted. Therefore, make good choices for yourself. If you want to live for a long time, with a mind and body that can take you where you want to go, you must take care of your health now. Most people only realize the importance of their health when it’s gone. You are capable of influencing your health. Start loving your body. You only have one!

2. Invest In Your Relationships:

Spend quality time with people you love. You must invest in your relationships to make them flourish and grow. Some people don’t have great relationships because they don’t allow themselves the time for what’s really important. People with strong relationships live longer, stay healthier and have a better life. Strengthen a relationship today!

3. Have A Positive View Of Yourself:

How you view yourselves is the foundation on which your life is built. @berniehiller (Click to Tweet!)

When you don’t have a positive self-view you compare yourselves to others, feel insecure and always wonder about the opinion of others. You also make choices based on other people’s expectations rather than on what you truly feel is right for you. You start to disconnect from yourself and lose your power. Having a positive self-view means accepting yourself for who you are and what you believe in. It means having the courage necessary to make your own decisions and live your authentic life.

It takes courage to be the REAL YOU!

4. Live Your Purpose and Dreams:

What do you want to do with your life? You only get one life.

The purpose of my life is to feel good and do good.

Why are you here on Earth? Dreams are messages sent to you so you know what to do with your life. Learn to listen to your instincts.

Dreams must be pursued! If you have a positive view of yourself – miracles  will occur. B. Bakke

“If you take responsibility for yourself, you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”  L. Brown


Bernard Hiller is the premier acting and success coach in Hollywood. His revolutionary techniques and methods have taken the artistic and business community by storm. He teaches sold-out Masterclasses in over 16 countries. He trains top artists in Los Angeles and CEO’s around the globe. His methods of “behavior transformation” have resulted in amazing acting and business success. Bernard has started the career of Cameron Diaz and coached Jeff Goldblum, Lionel Richie, LL Cool J, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Doran, Emma Roberts, Billy Crystal, and Jennifer Garner to name only a few. Leonardo DiCaprio recommends him as the top coach in town. Bernard’s #1 Acting and Success book, Stop Acting-Start Living is a must read. You can connect with him on Facebook & Twitter

Image courtesy of John Silliman.

How a Health Coach Harnessed Her Rebel Tendency to Lose 40 Pounds and Boost Her Energy.

0
0

I love hearing how people put the Four Tendencies framework to work — whether by using knowledge of their Tendency to improve their own live or to work more effectively with other people.

Recently, I got an email from Nagina Abdullah, health coach and founder of MasalaBody.com. She listens to the “Happier” podcast, and she told me about how she was able to eat more healthfully, lose weight, and boost her energy by harnessing the strengths of her Rebel Tendency.

This story was particularly interesting to me, because — as Rebels themselves often point out — the strategies that work for other Tendencies often don’t work for Rebels.

So I was fascinated to hear her story, and she wrote an account of it to share — which is below, with my comments in brackets.

Nagina writes:

When I was a kid, I got sent to the principal’s office on a weekly basis. While my teachers would ask the students to be quiet and obedient, I would end up in laughing fits and get sent to the principals’ office to get disciplined.

I struggled with following expectations for my whole life. As a child, I resisted my teachers’ rules. As I got older, I resisted being healthier.

See, I love food. I love sweets, fried food, food trucks, BBQs – everything that isn’t good for my waistline. I ALSO resist following the rules of having to be strict to get healthy.

My tendencies finally made sense when I took Gretchen’s Four Tendencies Quiz. I wanted to see if I was an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel.

I wasn’t surprised when I scored as a “Rebel.” Rebels resist outer and inner expectations.

After decades of being addicted to sugar and feeling unable to control my cravings, I embraced my Rebel tendencies. As result, I lost 40 pounds, skyrocketed my energy and started wearing the clothes I had dreamed of wearing.

The “Healthy Rules” I Did Not Want to Follow

After having two kids and working 60+ hour weeks, I felt exhausted and overweight, more than ever before. I needed to get healthier to feel better and have more energy for my kids.

I didn’t want to deprive myself of food I loved and I didn’t have time to spend hours in the gym.

Here are the rules to getting healthier I would regularly hear:

  • “You have to count calories, points, crumbs, licks, and drops”
  • “You must exercise 3+ days a week”
  • “No eating cupcakes, donuts, and everything else you love”

Even though I wanted to get healthier, I resisted restrictive rules like these.

This led to a lot of internal frustration, yo-yo dieting, announcing “It isn’t worth it!” and “Why is this so hard for ME?” [Rebels often get frustrated when they try to use the same techniques that work for other Tendencies.]

Even if I wanted to be healthier, I couldn’t even follow my OWN rules.  [Rebels resist outer and inner expectations.]

Would I ever change my habits to get healthier when I kept rebelling against the rules?

I finally got my dream body when (only when) I broke the rules.

Here’s how I broke the rules to lose 40 pounds and keep it off for now over six years.

Above All, I Wanted to Be a “Rebel Mom”

Being a mom is the greatest gift, but I feared I would be overweight, exhausted and put myself last in the name of my kids, which is the stereotype of a mom I held.

That’s when I decided to be a REBEL MOM and break through the stereotype.

Here’s my vision of being the mom I wanted to be:

  • Feel confident in a bathing suit so I could swim and play in the sand with my kids
  • Run 5k’s with my kids and set healthy examples for them
  • Feel sexy around my husband
  • Go rollerblading, biking, ice skating, roller skating, skiing, snowboarding and more with my family and feel strong and agile as I am doing it

Having a goal of a “Rebel Mom” inspired me to be healthier.  [Rebels want to express their identity; they want to live in accordance with their authentic self; they can do anything they choose to do, in order to be the kind of person they choose to be.]

3 Rules I Broke to Get My Dream Body

I started by eating healthy, because I found that it is the most impactful thing to do. But I needed to make eating healthy enjoyable and realistic for my life and family, and that’s when I realized there were three rules I had to break. [Rebels do well to focus on enjoyment. They also often enjoy breaking rules or achieving aims in unconventional ways.]

Rule 1: “You need to eat healthy every day to lose weight.”

How I break Rule 1:

I have one “Cheat Day” a week where I eat everything I want, so I always get a “break” from the rules and have something to look forward to. A Cheat Day is KEY to losing weight if you hate following those strict diet rules. [As an Upholder and an Abstainer and a very low-carb eater, this would not work for me — but it works for Nagina.]

Rule 2: “You have to eat boring food in tiny portions so you feel like you are starving to lose even 5 pounds.”

How I break Rule 2:

Instead of making my food flavorful with heavy sauces and creams, I use spices and herbs that pack in the flavor and have natural health benefits (like anti-inflammation and reduced water retention). I feel like I’m “cheating” and indulging even though I’m actually eating healthy.

I love to add a pinch of cinnamon (lowers your blood sugar) in my morning coffee because it tastes so delicious. [Again, the focus on pleasure and choice.]

Rule 3: “You are “supposed” to eat healthy.”

How I break Rule 3:

Remember the last time you were at an airport? Temptations at every turn, with most people indulging in them? It’s HARDER to eat healthy than not!

As a result of eating healthy, I feel in control of myself, and feel like I’m rebelling against the “norms” of society. [Rebels often benefit from reminding themselves, “I’m not going to be trapped by a sugar addiction. These big companies can’t control me with their fancy marketing campaigns and crinkly packages. I’m strong, they can’t make me eat their junk.” Rebels also often love a challenge: “Most people can’t resist the goodies in an airport, mall, or store, but for me, it’s not a problem.”]

 What you can do to get healthier:

If you resist outer and/or inner expectations (Rebels resist both, and Questioners and Obligers resist one or the other), and/or you have found it challenging to get healthier, try to BREAK some of the traditional rules by using one of the methods that worked for me:

  1. What’s a stereotype you would break by getting healthier? Embrace that and make it your goal.
  2. Include one cheat day a week and eat whatever you want on those days, while staying healthy on the other days. [Very effective for some people! Not effective for others! Know yourself.]
  3. Add herbs and spices to your foods to make it taste indulgent without the extra calories.
  4. Resist the unhealthy temptations around you and feel in control of yourself.

What I love about Nagina’s account is how carefully she examined what works for her, what she wants, and figured out her own way to get there.

By embracing her Rebel Tendency, she was able to get the benefit of its enormous strengths. By contrast, when Rebels think they “should” be able to use techniques like to-do lists, scheduling, monitoring, or accountability, they often get very frustrated with themselves.

There’s no one “right” way, no one “best” way — only what works for you.


Gretchen Rubin is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Happiness Project—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier—and the recently released Happier at Home and Better Than Before. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. For more doses of happiness and other happenings, follow Gretchen on Facebook and Twitter.

 


Image courtesy of it’s me neosiam.

The post How a Health Coach Harnessed Her Rebel Tendency to Lose 40 Pounds and Boost Her Energy. appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

Compassion in the Eye of the Storm

0
0

Of all the human qualities, compassion tends to take my breath away the most, in part because of the way in which it can transform the gravest of circumstances. Nowhere has this been more evident to me than with the recent flooding in Houston caused by Hurricane Harvey, and then the devastating destruction of Hurricane Irma in the Caribbean and Florida. And though I wish I didn’t have so many examples here, there was also the 7.1 earthquake in Mexico City and then Hurricane Maria which devastated Puerto Rico and other Caribbean Islands like Turks and Caicos. Suddenly, the world became a kinder place, a place where people from different countries around the world stepped up to support the individuals and governments where the destruction took place. We, the people, came together.

As I watched the news coverage of Mexico City I saw all these people working together to remove debris and help find any person who might have been buried in rubble. This is a sight I remember all too well when the Twin Towers fell on 9/11. Brave individuals thrown into chaos, and yet somehow mustering the strength to lend a hand, helping one another in the most trying of times.

We have a tendency to do that, us humans. We’re kind of kind at heart. We’re givers. We take care of one another when push comes to shove. It seems some part of us recognized our innate connectivity during times of severe trauma, or life and death situations. Even people we might judge as monsters become angels during these severe times.

Nowhere did I see this shift in caring more, this seemingly automatic move to compassion, than here in the U.S. with the flooding in Houston. Here we were, the United States, in a loud and all-consuming conversation on divisiveness, and a complete polarization of people across our country based on conservative and liberal identities, when out of the blue, ocean that is, the worst flooding Houston has seen in years came to shore. This devastation immediately shifted us out of this “right-wrong” paradigm of a conversation into a place of deep compassion for all our brothers and sisters. Bam! Compassion for the win! Oh, wait, compassion isn’t out to win, but simply to express an energy of caring to any person who might be in pain because of their current circumstance. And we all stepped up and gave a care.

I know for myself, I wanted to do something. I was a bit shocked at first, but thanks to Facebook there was a link to give to relief funding for the victims of the flooding in Houston. I gave, as did many of my friends here in Los Angeles. I could tell, as there was an option on Facebook that somehow showed you gave when you shared the charity link on your Facebook page. Again, any liberal-conservative thing flew out the window because we were giving around the country. Those of us in LA weren’t saying, “Oh, it’s Texas, they’re more conservative, let’s not give to them.” We reached down into our pockets, and however deep they may have been, we gave, because we care for one another.

That whole experience almost makes me hopeful that we’ll eventually ensure all our citizens here in the U.S. have some form of health care. Maybe there’s a way to line item it under the 790 billion dollar budget for defense spending? I don’t know why no one’s thought of that yet. I mean without our health we’re literally nothing. Can’t defend a country without good health. But back to compassion, because let’s face it, it’s a much better topic to write about as everybody wins where compassion is concerned.

Compassion as a quality holds tremendous power. Not power like a stick of dynamite, or power as in a semi-automatic weapon, but rather authentic power like Gandhi expressed when through peaceful protest he freed an entire country, or power like Nelson Mandela, who also freed a nation despite the racism and prejudice of his imprisoners through choosing a peaceful and compassionate activism which would eventually free, not only himself, but his country from apartheid. At the core of Gandhi and Mandela’s approach, and countless other examples throughout the world, where individuals who understood the inherent power of compassion.

Compassion, what is it good for? Absolutely everything. Yeah, I know that sounds like a lyric from a song some of you older folk might remember. I like my version better replacing war with compassion – it’s good for everything. Yes, everything.

There isn’t anything compassion doesn’t make better. @barryaldenclark (Click to Tweet!)

Don’t believe me? Test it out. Be compassionate in the most challenging of situations. Practice compassion on yourself – you will feel a hell of a lot better afterward, I promise. And let’s be real here, the only way to get to Carnegie Hall is practice. It’s no different with compassion. You have to put this quality to use, breathe air into it, try it out, even on those individuals you think it impossible to shift your feelings towards – especially on them.

Let’s all go on a compassion adventure together, shall we? Oh, it’s not gonna be easy. No one ever said it would be, but I guarantee you it will be worth it. How you ask? Because compassion is the fastest way to the heart of pretty much any individual you might come in contact with or any tough situation, and you’ll leave a path of loving.

Birds will sing, rainbows will fill the sky, and smiles will be seen across the land. I’m not really exaggerating here. These and other wonderful things will occur when you express compassion. It will fill you and your heart, as well as the person’s heart receiving your loving, compassionate energy, and it can transform pretty much any challenging situation.

Compassion is a gesture that, like a rock in a pond, reverberates out into the world. Negativity sucks the life out of us, and God knows there’s an awful lot of it flying around right now. Compassion fuels our souls. My wish for all of us around this planet is to find the internal flame of compassion within ourselves and to share this with all those around us, regardless of what our mind judges the other person or people to be.

It’s a tall order, and one I know we’re built for as the recent hurricanes and earthquakes have proven to us. Compassion is at the heart of us all, and compassion is the one ingredient we find in the center of every storm which acts as a healing balm. It’s there as our gift of the heart and our seeds for healing. Shower life with your compassion, and watch the healing energy grow, erasing all devastation in its path. Ultimately, I believe compassion is the light of God. May loving compassion bless your life always, and in all ways. Now please excuse me, I’ve got a rainbow to catch.


Barry Alden Clark has coached thousands of individuals in connecting more deeply with their hearts, their life purpose, and helped create a pathway for these folks to move forward in a direction more aligned with who they truly are. He & his creative partner Eliza Swords are currently delivering uplifting content on social media every Wednesday via “Best Day Ever with Barry and Eliza”, a Facebook and You-Tube phenomenon reaching thousands of people around the world. They are also inspiring love and joy through creating heartfelt and entertaining content via their production company Pure Honey Ink. Currently they have projects in development for social media, film, television and publishing. You can reach Barry at www.barryaldenclark.com.

Image courtesy of Gerd Altmann.

The post Compassion in the Eye of the Storm appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

Dear Daughter!

0
0

This is a letter I have just written to my adult daughter who is continually treated by the important people in her life as though she doesn’t matter.

I was up half the night thinking about you. There are some things you need to know about me…

When I was fifteen I fell in love with a girl at school. I was walking on the moon! Floating on air. I had never been so happy.

This lasted about two days until she told me that she just wanted to be my friend. Then she went out with my best mate instead so I had to see them together all the time with all the obvious pain that that entailed.

Two years later I fell in love with someone else. She only wanted to be my friend as well.  And she also went off with my best friend.

I was by this time excruciatingly lonely and miserable. I was painfully shy and thought the only way to get close to girls was to become their friend. It was a rubbish technique for pulling girls because by the time I felt safe enough to tell them how much I liked them I was well and truly in the Friend Zone.

After two broken hearts I basically retreated into myself and tried to hide from the word the best I could. Mainly by getting drunk a lot. At this time of my life I was surrounded by people, but felt entirely alone and miserable.

When I was twenty-one I had my all time low, when I fell in love with a girl who was delightfully shy and totally alluring. Unfortunately for me she was a bit of a slut too. She went off with ALL of my friends! Of an entire pub full of ‘friends’, only one turned her down because of how I felt about her.

I was hanging around with all these people who just didn’t care that I was in love with this girl. She would tell me that we were exclusive, only to get off with one of my mates the next time she got drunk. Which was never more than a week or two away.

I would cry a lot and run and hide again. After a couple of weeks she would smile at me from across the room, I would forgive her and the cycle would begin again. The worst of it was that deep down I always knew she would do it again.

It went on like this for one long very painful year.

By this time my self-esteem was so low I didn’t even have the courage to walk away from all of them. I truly thought at that time that I didn’t have a choice. But eventually I finally came to my senses.

By that time I was totally devastated, my soul was destroyed and I was hurt beyond belief.  I built huge psychological walls around myself and I trusted nobody. Those walls became so thick that I am still knocking them down today.

This kind of thing went on for years after this too. Nothing quite as bad as this one, but I could never trust anyone and my self-esteem had taken such a beating that I was always in the Friend Zone. Always lonely.

Finally in my late thirties or thereabouts I was sitting with about the eighth girl I was in love with who was telling me she just wanted to be my friend. This time it was one time too many!

I became unbelievably depressed. This girl, who happened to be the only friend I had at the time, (until I blew it by falling for her of course) dragged me to the doctors where I was prescribed Prozac.

I remember so well coming out of the doctors. I collapsed on the ground, against the wheel of my van in the surgery car park, and sobbed like a baby.

Three days later I felt a rather nice tingling sensation in my arms and I knew the Prozac was beginning to kick in. I didn’t like it though!

That day I realised two things.

  1. I didn’t want to rely on anti-depressants. And,
  2. I realised that if so many girls only wanted to be my friend, it must be because of something I am doing.

It wasn’t them – it was me! 

A healing journey begins

I drove to the doctors and handed them my box of pills telling them I didn’t need them after all.

I was lucky in the fact that I lived alone on a narrow boat at the time so had plenty of privacy and space to begin exploring my inner most feelings in an attempt to get to the bottom of my issues.

I wish I could tell you that I had an amazing epiphany and all was immediately good again, but I can’t. My healing journey took a decade or more, gradually peeling away the lairs of pain one by one and healing them.

As I went through each healing moment my happiness and self-esteem grew. It was an exceptionally long, and often painful, journey. But life became a direct reflection of how much healing I had done – and continues to do so today.

The more of my issues I clear out, the easier and more fun life becomes. @TheVividCoach (Click to Tweet!)

Eventually, I brought myself to a place where I could sit down to lunch with a beautiful woman and, for the first time in my life, just enjoy her company without feeling a desperate need for her to want me.

That woman was your mum. We enjoyed each other so much we fell in love. She was the first woman in my life, since my mum, who loved me back…it had been a long time coming – I was forty-four!

Patterns

If we have a pattern that keeps repeating in our life, such as falling in love with girls who want to be our friend or the important people in our life treating us as though we don’t matter, it is a lesson for us to learn about ourselves.

The pattern will keep repeating itself until we recognise how WE are creating it!

I promised to give you a question but actually I have several for you to ponder. The art is not to quickly answer, “I don’t know”, but to soul search in the faith that you have the answer within you. Keep pondering until an answer comes.

If you are anything like me, each answer will create ten new questions at first. Spend time alone with a note pad and a bottle of wine and look for the answers. Cry when you need to, get angry if you want to, but find the answers and heal your stuff!

The more you allow yourself to create a life of pain, the more pain there will be to heal. So the quicker you get started the quicker and easier you will find it.

I was in my mid-forties before I could even sit down comfortably with a woman I was attracted to (can you believe that?)  You are only twenty-six. It will be far quicker and easier for you – and you’ve got me to help, support and guide you too (if you want it).

As promised, here are some questions to get you started:

  • How am I allowing this to keep happening to me?
  • What needs to change in order for it to stop happening?
  • Which part of me needs this to happen in this way?
  • Which part of me needs to feel like this? Or thinks I deserve to feel like this?
  • When was the first time in my life that I felt like this? (this might be the beginning of the cycle)

Healing is the most painful and difficult thing we as humans can do. It is also the most liberating, life-enhancing and beautiful experience. It is hugely satisfying and beneficial.

In the end it just comes down to this though. Healing is merely recognising a subconscious part of yourself that wants something you consciously think you don’t want.

The hidden part is so much more powerful so keeps creating what you consciously think you don’t want – which is the cause of your continued suffering!!! 

Inner conflict – two parts of you pulling you in different directions. Healing is essentially uncovering that hidden need and accepting that part of you with love, compassion and gentleness. All you have to do is notice. There is nothing else. The rest takes care of itself. 

Why should you do it?

Because without it, your life will simply keep repeating the same old painful patterns over and over.

Because you are an amazing, beautiful, wonderful person and you deserve to feel love, hope, joy, happiness, fulfilment, peace, confidence and all the other wonderful feelings that life has to offer -all the time!

Because you deserve, as much as anyone, to have people in your life who treat you as well as your mum and I do. With respect, consideration, love, thoughtfulness, compassion, support and encouragement. Everyone should treat you like that, baby.  Not just us!

Because you DO matter!

Because you are about to get pregnant and have a child. Everything you feel will be felt by your unborn child. All of your fear, all of your insecurities and all of your issues will be transmitted and programmed into your child in an amazing and powerful way.

Choose now that you will lead by example and become a POSITIVE influence in your child’s life. Start looking for the truth and happiness that lies buried inside of you.

I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that my letter hasn’t upset you and you can take it for what it is. A guiding light from a loving dad who hopes you can learn from his journey. I wasted three quarters of my life in loneliness, heartbreak, misery and pain before I woke up to the fact that it was all my own doing.

As easily as we all allow continuing pain and struggle in our lives, we can just as easily allow continuing love, abundance and fun. But we have to consciously choose it to be that way, or the default setting is shitsville!

It just takes a little effort and a lot of determination is all. But the effort is well worth it.

Love you

John x


John Freeman is the author of Vivid Visualisation, Success without Stress. He creates unique, personalised guided visualisation recordings that bring all the benefits of visualisation without the effort. Find out more at www.vividvisualisation.com.

 

 

Image courtesy of Negative Space.

The post Dear Daughter! appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

Beyond the Cliché: The Myths of Love and How to Debunk Them

0
0

When we think of the word “love,” most of us think of images, symbols, and mythologies about romantic love from pop culture: fireworks bursting, flower petals falling—she loves me, she loves me not; lightning bolts striking the ground; birds chirping and the sun shining. All of these images carry with them a sense of the unattainable, the magical. Love becomes something we chase after, an object we wait for, a person onto whom we fixate our attention, an experience wholly out of our control.

I think we’ve all been vulnerable to disappointment when it comes to love. Maybe we have a rough patch in a relationship with a friend or significant other and find ourselves shocked by how much work needs to go into love. Maybe we see these challenges as “problems,” and interpret them as our fault, or perhaps even their fault. We may even find ourselves thinking love itself is a deceptive, dangerous illusion.

The Universal, Healing Power

Regardless of where we’ve ended up with these narratives, there is one bottom line: no matter where we come from, we can experience love more directly, more freely—without all the weight of cultural baggage.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean we can immediately rid ourselves of the stories, fears, assumptions, and judgments about love we’ve picked up throughout our lives. But if we are able to accept that there is only one kind of love—what I call real love—and that we all can access it, no matter what we’ve been through or what we will go through, we open ourselves up to a capacity for connection that is healing, restorative, generative.

When we give and receive love from a place of presence, we can identify our histories, stories, traumas and deep-rooted beliefs with more clarity. We don’t fault ourselves, but can see these challenges for what they are. From there, we learn that no belief, thought, feeling or experience can actually block us from love. We take a stand for ourselves on our right to feel, give, receive, and be the embodiments of love.

What is Real Love, Really?

But what does all this actually feel like? When I first sought to write a book about love, I reached out to some of my students to talk about their experiences of love. What I found was that many of them understood the concept of real love, but weren’t sure how, practically, to experience it. As we talked, we worked together on naming some of the clichés about love that hold us back. As we identified them, we found that an empowering first step to real love was for each of us to become authors of new stories about love.

Real love doesn’t have to be earned. 

One of the most common clichés about love we identified was the idea that love is something to be earned—like winning an award for a groundbreaking film, or making a six figure salary for a 10-hour workday. Yet the truth is, we all deserve love simply by virtue of being in this world. We may be conditioned to think otherwise during our childhoods or later on, but we can come back to this simple truth. It may not feel easy, but it moves us beyond the cliché into real love.

We all deserve love simply by virtue of being in this world. @SharonSalzberg (Click to Tweet!)

Real love is available to anyone.

Some students voiced concern over their notions of original sin—that some people are just born broken, and are incapable of love. In fact, I think most of us can relate to the idea of feeling that we are never good enough. We can, however, invite ourselves to see our lives as both deeply connected to—but incomparable to—the lives of others. When we recognize our own abilities, talents, and heartfelt desires, we can move beyond the realm of comparison and competition. And from there, we start to question what “enough” really means. That is another gateway toward real love.

Real love for ourselves is not a prerequisite.

I personally struggled with how to take on this overarching topic of self-love, tripped up by the myth “you have to love yourself first in order to love another.” Despite the popularity of this idea, I know so many people are able to love others even while remaining highly critical of themselves. That doesn’t mean their love for others isn’t authentic, but perhaps that it comes from a place of greater emptiness than it would if self-love were part of the picture. But this myth makes us see self-love as a means to an end, an easy box to check before we can move onto bigger and better types of love. And that’s simply not the case.

Loving ourselves, others, and even our experiences, is never as simple as a box to check. All forms of love are ongoing processes, journeys we embark upon—without a fixed end point. To me, real love comes down to how well we are willing to pay attention—how closely we can notice and participate in the opportunities we get each day to act lovingly, to accept ourselves and our lives as they are.


Sharon Salzberg is a central figure in the field of meditation, a world-renowned teacher and NY Times bestselling author. She has played a crucial role in bringing meditation and mindfulness practices to the West and into mainstream culture since 1974, when she first began teaching. She is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA and the author of ten books including NY Times bestseller, Real Happiness, her seminal work, Lovingkindness and her forthcoming release by Flatiron Books, Real Love. Renowned for her down-to-earth teaching style, Sharon offers a secular, modern approach to Buddhist teachings, making them instantly accessible. She is a regular columnist for On Being, a contributor to Huffington Post, and the host of her own podcast: The Metta Hour. For more information, visit www.SharonSalzberg.com.


Image courtesy of aliceabc0.

The post Beyond the Cliché: The Myths of Love and How to Debunk Them appeared first on Positively Positive!!.


Use This Awe-Eliciting Trick to Put in Your Back Pocket for a Rainy Day

0
0

The mind. It’s a beautiful and a cruel place to be, depending on the moment. (A.K.A.“brutiful.”)

The mind is part of what makes humans so amazing (Innovating! Creative! Unique!); it allows us to learn from our experiences, solve problems, plan for the future. We can use it to be self-reflective, self-evaluating, and bring awareness to how our “selves” affect other people.

But what about when it starts to suffocate us? What about when reflecting on our past becomes rumination (“I shouldn’t have done that…”) or planning for our future becomes worry? What happens when the same prefrontal cortex that allows us to analyze and act becomes the inhibitor of action…you know, analysis to paralysis?

These moments are symptomatic of an egoic mindset. Self-awareness and reflection can also mean self-focus, and too much focus on ourselves can eventually become harmful. An egoic state (which is a default mindset for most of us humans) can lead us to feeling separate, “less-than” others, and (when intensified) pretty darn insignificant and sad.

So how do we stop it? How do people who rely so fully on their minds get out of…their mind?

Well, here’s one way:

Just like there’s an egoic mindset, there are also hypo-egoic mindsets. (This is the opposite state: being disinterested in the self, less concerned with other’s opinions, present in the moment, feeling “apart” of the whole. You know, the good stuff.) These states are awesome because within them we can let go of our over-analyzing behavior, enjoy the people and the moments in our lives more freely, and just generally…be happier. (Which I think is the general goal, right?)

There’s one way that researchers in a lab have been able to produce hypo-egoic states by eliciting feelings of awe from participants.

Awe

You’ve probably heard the word awe before, and generally know what it means, but just to be specific: awe is a feeling that makes you step back and gasp at the beauty of it all. Awe is knowing that it’s a big world and you’re a part of it; it’s a hard-to-define-moment at which we’re captured by the complexity and power all around us. A starry night, towering redwoods, your child’s eyes…the experiences (different for all of us) that produce a feeling of being struck.

Being struck by what? A hypo-egoic mindset, apparently. In moments of awe, we lose track of ourselves.

It’s hard to be self-centered when we’re enamored with the world around us; we’re less likely to worry about the future or regret the past if we’re captured by the beauty of the Grand Canyon or holding our first born.

So yes, awe is great, but…let’s be honest. We can’t always be at the Grand Canyon. We can’t constantly be staring into the night sky contemplating the universe or walking along the beach.

What can we do to elicit a hypo-egoic mindset from ourselves?

We can put ourselves in the way of awe. We can reflect on times when we personally felt it, remember what it looked like and smelled like, what we noticed and how we felt. We can sit down and write about those moments, re-live them, make them real to us again.

Remember, this isn’t just nostalgia (which is great, but can lead to feelings of longing or sadness.) This is asking yourself what moments have made you do an inner curtsy to the universe, and diving into them. Setting aside five minutes to paint as clear a picture of that moment as possible.

The action of reflecting and writing about a time when we were overwhelmed with the vastness of a moment can itself bring about parts of that moment…as well as the feelings that went along with it. We don’t have to physically be on the beach or at that canyon; we just need to remember (in detail) what it felt like.

This awe-eliciting trick is one to put in your back pocket for a rainy day: or a sunny day, or a foggy day, or a Saturday, or…you get the picture.

Escaping an egoic mindset isn’t always necessary (if we didn’t focus on ourselves at all, how would be achieve our goals?) but it’s helpful to be aware of the ways in which our minds work for and against us.

A practice like this one is like a lasso for the runaway thoughts in our minds.

So, go ahead. Be in awe. Remember it, write about it, tell me about it in the comments. Reflecting on the powerful moments in life might just remind us of the beauty in the here and now.


Melissa Pennel is a coffee drinker, overthinker, and empowerment coach in Northern California. You can find more of her writing on her website, and follow her on Instagram or Facebook

 

 

Image courtesy of freestockpro.com.

The post Use This Awe-Eliciting Trick to Put in Your Back Pocket for a Rainy Day appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

What If All Your Work Disappeared at the End of the Day?

0
0

Over the past ten years, I’ve thought a lot about building a legacy. In particular, I’ve thought about it as it relates to a body of work that you produce and share over the years. This model has kept me going for a long time.

To me, one of the most attractive qualities of writing the blog, starting in 2008 and continuing until now (albeit in several distinct forms), was the idea that I was building a portfolio of sorts. I could write something today, and it would still be around tomorrow, next week, next year, and so on. It would, as I’ve said more than once, “go on to live a life of its own.”

But is that really true?

As I wrote waaaaay back in 2009 (WTF), nothing lasts forever. In my therapy sessions of late, and in my own reflection while traveling, I’ve been thinking more about the not-so-shocking revelation that everything eventually comes to an end.

And as I learn through experience and observation, I’m forced to concede that there are some holes to this model that I love so dearly.

One of the holes is that much of the work seems destined to be lost, sometimes immediately upon dissemination. It disappears into the void of content overwhelm. Some people do go back and discover earlier work, but there’s a real 80/20 rule (probably more like 98/2) to this. Very few people go back, and very little of the work lives to see the sunlight again… if it ever did at all.

Another hole is that some work becomes perennially popular—which is great, of course—but you can’t necessarily predict which work that will be. My second book, The $100 Startup, has sold 10 times the number of copies that my first book, The Art of Non-Conformity, has. I’m glad that people enjoyed it, but I don’t think it’s 10x better than the first one. I didn’t work 10x as hard on it, and I don’t believe in that book’s message 10x more.

I’m pretty sure there’s an element of luck to some of these things. And if it’s not luck, the point is that it’s outside one’s ability to influence, which means it might as well be luck.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in the model of legacy work. I’m not quitting or going anywhere. I’m just as motivated as when I started, if not more. Perhaps I’m just less confident in my ability to predict and control it. So maybe it’s time to consider a new model.

Let’s call this new model the Etch-a-Sketch practice of making art. Remember those? You could sketch whatever you imagined in a sea of horizontal and vertical lines, but with a quick shake-shake-shake, it was gone. Aside from never using that Etch-a-Sketch again, which would of course render it useless, there’s no way to preserve the work.

So in this Etch-a-Sketch model, you still have to do your best every day. You put out the show, the post, the essay, the video… or whatever your form or medium. You still get the chance to reach people with it that day.

But then it disappears, never to be seen or experienced again, and you have to start over the next day. The only value is what you make of it today. When tomorrow comes, you have to deliver once more.

In this scenario, there are no archives. There is no body of work. There is only, well, today. This leads to an obvious question: what will you make with your one day of opportunity?

And if you don’t put it to good use, not to worry. Perhaps you’ll have another chance tomorrow, after today disappears into the void.


Chris Guillebeau is the New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness of PursuitThe $100 Startup, and other books. During a lifetime of self-employment, he visited every country in the world (193 in total) before his 35th birthday. Every summer in Portland, Oregon he hosts the World Domination Summit, a gathering of creative, remarkable people. His new book, Born for This, will help you find the work you were meant to do. Connect with Chris on Twitter, on his blog, or at your choice of worldwide airline lounge.


Image courtesy of Spencer Selover.

The post What If All Your Work Disappeared at the End of the Day? appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

Why Shadow Work Keeps You Away from the Light

0
0

I’ve done a lot of “shadow work”. Shadow work meaning looking into the feelings, thoughts, and associations I made in the past that are giving me grief in my present. In other words, I took lots of time to look into why I felt so shitty for so long and how my past was related to that.

I went from being a victim and blaming other people, to feeling a victim and feeling inadequate, to feeling inadequate and being enormously mad at myself, to feeling a victim and feeling helpless. I can go on for a while but in the end, I let go of the victimhood, started to take responsibility for my own actions, forgave myself, looked at myself with love and started believing and trusting myself again.

I remember very vividly when being in the victimhood and looking into my past, how contracted, small and angry I felt. It felt like I didn’t have any choice at that time and it was so damn hard to choose for a point of view less angry and more empowering and forgiving. It felt like too big of a hurdle for me to take.

During those years I did transform my victim mentality but I did take the long route.

Now I believe it’s not necessary to dive into the past and relive experiences that caused you pain. I did and I kept reaffirming my victim mentality as well as other negative emotions. Instead of learning to look at those experiences with an empowering point of view, I kept affirming my negative one.

By doing this I kept myself away from the light – meaning being my True Self – longer than necessary.

So why does Shadow work keep you from the light?

(Nothing really does keep you from the light except choosing to do so. Shadow work in itself, therefore, doesn’t keep you from the light. But it can keep you away from the light longer than necessary)

  • Every experience doesn’t have any meaning in itself but the meaning you give it. This means it’s more beneficial to learn to change your point of view on these experiences.
  • How you view your experiences influences how you feel. So if you want to change how you feel NOW, change how you view your past NOW. If you do that, you change how you feel NOW. For that, you don’t need to go back and work through every negative experience in your life.
  • Shadow work can have the effect of keeping you identified with your limiting beliefs. In the end, it’s those limiting beliefs that make you feel shitty now and not your experiences in the past.
  • Bad things happened in the past and they don’t happen to you in the NOW. With Shadow work you keep reliving those past experiences and for your emotions and vibrations, it seems as if it’s happening NOW.

Why we keep doing Shadow work

  • For me it had a lot do with fear. I felt so small, inadequate, and lonely that I felt too scared to step into my own power. I didn’t think I had it in me. It felt less scary to stay in the past and try to “explain” and “rationalize” everyone’s actions in my experiences than to just shift my point of view.
  • I also held on too much to my limiting beliefs. I believed in lack of love, money, and possibilities so much I couldn’t believe something else was possible. My world was too small and too contracted to see that what I chose to believe is the exact opposite of what Life and I am about.
  • Being attached to my limiting beliefs at that time did have some kind of benefit. It if didn’t I would’ve chosen a different viewpoint. The benefit was that that option felt less scary and overwhelming. By choosing those options I chose the road with less intense fear emotions in the short run and for negativity, doubt, and fear as well on the long run.

When you dive within yourself and you dive into your so-called shadow parts, that hardly ever goes hand in hand with positive feelings. The theory is that because something doesn’t make you feel good, it gets buried in your unconscious parts of your mind. And from there it influences how you act and behave now.

Although it is true that beliefs, thoughts, and ideas that you’re not conscious of can influence how you behave now, it isn’t necessary to dive into negative stuff in your past.

By diving into that negativity you step into that negativity. By doing so, you’re lowering your vibration and with a lower vibration you don’t have access to higher vibration overviews and insights.

What I mean is, that when you unnecessarily look and step into “long lost shadow parts” of yourself and deliberately stepping into negative feelings, you’re depriving yourself of a higher perspective. When you feel grateful, forgiving and loving you have access to more insightful, more in-depth and more loving perspectives than when you feel mad, angry or frustrated.

So if you want to feel better now, and become conscious of unconscious beliefs and thoughts, you don’t have to look at your past.

Your present tells you everything. Because your present is a reflection of you before your present moment became your present moment. So looking at your present, you’re looking at your past. Your present is nothing but a reflection of your inner vibration. So your present reflects your past.

So instead of diving within and looking for your shadow parts in your past, look at your present and work with that. That’ll show you enough to uncover what’s unconscious.


Carmen Smallegange is a coach specialized in uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs. Using her own life lessons she shines a new and fresh light on negative experiences to empower others to do the same and to acknowledge and step into their own amazing potential. You can get her free workbook on how to transform your fears or follow her on Facebook.

 

 

Image courtesy of Maranatha Pizarras.

The post Why Shadow Work Keeps You Away from the Light appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

How to Write a Page-Turner

0
0

Alex Berenson had the dream job. But he was unhappy. And perhaps it even scarred him in some ways.

He switched it up. To his true dreams. To the dreams he had for himself since he was a child.

I want to do this.

First off, Alex has written 11 bestselling thriller novels. Alex knows how to get the reader to turn the page and ask, “What happens next?!”

This is an unbelievably hard skill.

But it’s not the most important skill when you are moving into your dream job.

I will tell you the most important skill. And Alex explains more clearly how he did it when we are in the podcast.

The most important skill is to have this weird sort of “active arrogance”.

Here’s the gap: The best in your profession have skills, experience, and they know how to sit down and DO something every day.

The beginners: they WANT to do something. They PLAN to do something. They SAY they will eventually do it. They THINK they have the skills they need.

But they never do it.

The ones who succeed. They have the arrogance to think they can just simply sit down and do it. Despite not having the skills. Despite being total amateurs. They simply sit down and DO IT.

By doing it, you LEARN the skills, you DO the job [a first novel in Alex’s case], and you get better.

DOING is the only way to succeed. Most people stop before this point. @jaltucher (Click to Tweet!)

Alex didn’t.

And thank god. Because his 11 bestsellers have been lifesavers for me. A way for me to dream. A way for me to escape.

Here’s how Alex did it:

Create your own universe

“In 2003 and 2004, I went to Iraq for the paper,” he said (he worked at The New York Times). “The war had ended, supposedly… we deposed Saddam. Most reporters go during the ‘active phase,’ so The Times said any cub reporter could put their hand up and go. So I put my hand up.”

Then he came back and realized he had stories. And John Wells was born. Alex has written 11 bestsellers. All page-turners. I wanted to know what made him start writing thrillers. I’ve always thought of writing fiction. I still wonder if that’s what’s next.

Here’s what he told me, “In my universe, nobody lies to me. They can lie to each other, they can even lie to themselves, they cannot lie to me.”

Some luck goes unnoticed

“Coming back to the states was a shock,” he said. “The wastefulness of this country really smacks you when you’ve been away for a while, certainly in a place like that.”

“What do you mean? What’s an example?”

“I think the example that struck me is the electrical grid.”

We take it for granted that the lights go on. And then use them like crazy. I live in NY. The lights are always on. It doesn’t matter what time. And I never think about it. “American is a place of abundance,” Alex said. “I guess that’s a good thing. It’s better to be rich than poor but realize that 80% of the world is never going to live in conditions anything like this. It really does just smack you in the face to realize how lucky we are and how little we realize that.”

Choose yourself

I asked Alex if he thinks we’re becoming complacent as a society. “Thats a real fear,” Alex said. There are two sides. One side is if you give people everything will they stop wanting to work? Will they say they have enough. And give up.

But then the other side is you work so hard and go nowhere. “The flip side of that is if you make the system so unfair that nobody believes hard work can get you ahead, they’re not going to work either.”

And I think that’s why work should be more than a paycheck. There has to be a vision. And following that vision is how you choose yourself.

Have a little arrogance

Alex said a lot of reporters want to write novels. He was one of them. But there’s something that separates those who write from those who don’t…

“I did something arrogant,” he said. “I wrote a novel.”

So I wondered if that’s part of the formula? Do all novelists have some arrogance to write something totally made up and think other people will want to read it?

“Of course,” Alex said. “Are you kidding? It’s the craziest endeavor. ‘I’m going to create this world with these fake people and I want you to believe they’re real. And I want to make them come alive for you.’”

Finding aspects of you

I’m curious about the characters. Like dreams, where do they come from? Is it a manifestation of yourself? Of people you know? And who leads the story? Is it the writer? Some writers say the characters are so strong psychologically that they lead the story.

Alex got his answer from his wife. She’s a psychiatrist. She says John Wells is a projection of Alex’s most idealized version of himself. “He’s strong, he’s very capable, he’s so tough. Women love him, men fear him, sheep want to be with him, ya know he’s tortured because he’s committed all this violence over the years, but he’s essentially a good guy.”

I wonder what it would be like to create my own universe and then ask a doctor to read into me. But I only know what I create if I start creating.

How do you survive?

His books are 400 pages each. And that’s before everything gets cut down and reformatted. He used to write before work. Now it’s his full time job.

“So how do you survive? How do you sit through it?”

“Writing the books is mentally painful,” he said. “I make the characters suffer. Because I’m suffering.”

Who’s your hero?

I wanted to know more about Alex’s hero. He could’ve made the everyman. But instead he chose a spy, someone who in danger. Maybe it’s a reflection of who we want to be. Someone with real freedom.

Alex said. “When you have nothing to lose, when you don’t care if you live or die, you have incredible freedom.”

Alex doesn’t have that freedom. He told me how he was almost kidnapped in Iraq. “People thought I was spy,” he said. ““I had a very close call. I mean everyone has a close call, but I had a very close call”

“What was your close call?”

“Ya know, I don’t like to talk about it.”

I couldn’t let this go. When someone comes on my podcast, I have one chance to ask them everything I want to know.

“Could we please talk about it?”

“I found a notebook that a Shia fighter kept… It was just a tiny green notebook. It was in the rubble of a building. And I took it.”

“They saw you pick it up?”

“No… I was dressed like a local. I had a goatee. I had my haircut shorter, but no one was going to be fooled into thinking I was Iraqi. No one who REALLY looked at me. And I didn’t speak arabic”

People got suspicious of him.

“The question was, ‘What are you doing? Why do you look like this? Why are you trying to pass… you’re not one of us. And once that happened, it just spiraled.”

“So you reached a point where you got scared,” I said.

“Oh, no no no no. It was much worse than that…”

Get stories

I wanted to know how Alex got back home. He was detained. And almost martyred.

These experiences lead to his novels. Now, he had stories to begin fueling the John Wells series.

Write everyday

People ask Alex how he gets his inspiration.

“I have a mortgage to pay and I have a contract. I can’t wait for inspiration.” He says he makes progress every day.

How do you get people to turn the page?

Alex turned the tables. He asked if I wrote a page-turner.

The answer’s no. I tried. I’ve tried for 20 years. He said one key is to let people read your work. I’ve never let anyone read my fiction. I want to know the beats.

We broke them down.

“I’m kind of the wrong person to ask about structure,” he said. “My books violate the normal structure of genre fiction.”

But I find this is true with all peak performers. They can’t explain how they do so well. It comes natural to them. So getting into the finer nuances takes effort.

I dug. And here’s what I found…

Finding structure

  1. In the beginning, the main character is involved in something bad
  2. Then he solves it
  3. And he’s given a grace period of relief
  4. Then he goes through something worse… Alex said, “You have to have a mission and within that mission there has to be sub-missions.”
  5. It could get worse. “It depends,” Alex said. Sometime the main character gets help from somewhere else or a clue is revealed. Anything can happen.

The key to a great ending…

Eventually it ends… But here’s the key. You need a cool solve.

So I asked, “What’s a cool solve?” This is another great example of an expert knowing his craft better than the inner workings of that craft…

We went through a ton of examples. And finally landed on this:

You have to build. “For Wells, there’s always tensions. Your always asking, ‘How far will this go?’ You just got me to explain it better,” Alex said.

 


James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.


The post How to Write a Page-Turner appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

The First Step to Take When You’re in Hell

0
0

It feels interminable. Like you’ll never get out. Like it’s never…going…to…end. That’s the nature of hell. It’s not the pain that drives you insane, it’s the fear that the pain could go on and on.

The first thing to tell yourself when you’re in hell: This pain WILL end.

I find this works for most varieties of hell. Physical pain. Heart break. Mental torture. Long road trips when you’re forced to listen to sports talk radio.

You probably won’t believe it when you remind yourself that This pain WILL end. And you may have nine reasons why you’ll never “fully” get over it. (And maybe 4.5 of them could be legit.) But your exact coordinates in hell, that specific degree of pain, that particular agony — all that will shift.

Because life keeps moving forward, always toward healing.
The nature of hell (density + illusion) is constriction.
The nature of heaven (light + truth) is expansion — always upward, onward and inward at the same time.
LIFE LIVES EVERYWHERE.

Use this truth to catch your breath: This pain WILL end.

Declare. Breathe. Move. Forward. Toward the truth.

(PS…For real. The pain will end. You’re going to get through it.)


Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries.

Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.


The post The First Step to Take When You’re in Hell appeared first on Positively Positive!!.

Viewing all 1156 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images